Tuesday morning came, not really any new updates. By Tuesday afternoon/evening my doctor came in and told me and Alan that I wouldn't be leaving the hospital before I had the baby. They were going to try to get me to 37 weeks (which would be the upcoming Sunday) before delivering if they could, but there was a chance they would have to deliver me before that if my blood pressure remained high or the baby's heartbeat kept dropping. I admit to having a breakdown when the doctor left and it was just me and Alan. I wasn't ready yet. I still had 3 weeks left. I hadn't packed the hospital bag. I hadn't put together the pack and play (which is where baby would sleep when we came home). I hadn't cleaned the house. I wasn't mentally ready to have this baby yet. I wasn't prepared for a c-section. It wasn't what I had planned on, hoped for, etc. But there would be no way to deliver naturally at this point-the baby's heart couldn't take it. I was going to have a c-section, it was just a matter of it being before 37 weeks, or making it to that 37 week mark. By Tuesday night Alan had planned on sleeping at home again-but the doctor made a comment that evening about possibly having to deliver that night. So Alan stayed. He slept in a chair that folded out to a longer bed. Super uncomfortable for anyone-but especially so for my 6'2" hubby with his big build. He was a trooper though. Although, at some point during this day he told me to "buck up" to which I replied with tons of sarcasm giving him crap for telling me that and him not even being sure about staying w/me because of the bed for him. :) Tuesday night came and went and baby was able to stay inside me.
Wednesday morning came and I was super tired of being in that hospital bed already. Part of me (most of me) wanted baby to stay inside longer to give him longer to develop, but the other part of me wanted him out cause I was so tired of the hospital. I broke out the word search books Alan brought for me. I started the book he brought me as well. I watched movies, and watched a lot of TV. I had visits from my aunts and parents. Phone calls and texts from all family members. On Wednesday morning Alan was at work and the on-call doctor gave the orders for me to not eat after breakfast (8:00 AM) and nothing to drink after 11:00 AM. (My doctor went out of town on vacation Wednesday morning-which I had known about). The no food was in case they had to do the c-section that day. At 6:00 that night I still hadn't been able to eat or drink and was starving!! However, my blood pressure had remained very high all day, and baby's heartbeat continued to drop with each contraction. At about 6:30 or so the doctor came in and was about to tell me I could eat dinner when my blood pressure spiked higher than it had in the last 3 days. By about 7:00 I think it was the doctor said it was time to deliver due to my blood pressure and we would be going in to the c-section soon. At the time the doctor told me this there was me, Alan, my parents, and Shana in the room. My dad could see the emotion in my face when the doctor told us this, and he asked if we wanted a moment. I nodded yes and everyone left the room so Alan and I could just be us for a minute. I cried and cried to my sweet husband. It was too early. The baby still needed time to grow and develop. I wasn't ready. The baby wasn't ready. But-there was no choice. Our son was about to be born-ready or not. My dad let my family know what was going on and Shana did the same for Alan's family. The process was so fast once they said we needed to deliver. Alan and I were taken to get ready. They put him in the white sterile suit and took me in for the epidural. Alan had to wait outside the room while I got the epidural and they got me ready. The hospital staff was so amazing during this process. A shout-out to the Orem Community Hospital for this. The anesthesiologist had helped my dad give me a blessing before they brought me back. He was a sweet man with a good sense of humor who tried to keep me smiling and upbeat. My amazing nurse Christi was a huge support. As I sat on the table waiting for the epidural she just held me. She stood in front of me, her hands on my shoulders and arms. She rubbed my arms and spoke encouraging words to me, helping me to get through it. The epidural took fast. As they laid me down on the table my entire bottom half went numb so quickly. It was a very weird feeling to want to help them move my legs, but I couldn't. Once I was all laid down and ready, they let Alan in. The curtain was up in front of my face, and Alan chose to stand and watch the c-section in its entirety.
It was only moments after Alan was allowed to come in to me that they were cutting me open. I chose not to watch, but did ask Alan a few times what was happening. Each time he replied with "You don't want to know". Haha. :) It seemed like only a few minutes later and the anesthesiologist asked me if I wanted to see them pull the baby out. I said yes. He held up a mirror for me just as the doctors were pulling our little boy out. Later Alan said the cord was wrapped around him when they pulled him out, but I don't remember this part. I watched them pull my baby out and take him over to the side of the room to be checked. I turned my head and could see most of this part, and Alan walked over to the baby. Our little man was here!! I had tears in my eyes as he started to cry the sweetest, most quiet cry I'd ever heard. The only thing I could say was "Is he ok?" The doctor checked him, and yes, yes he was ok. They cleaned him off as he continued to cry and then wrapped him up in a blanket and little hat. They brought him over to me so I could see him. Alan helped to hold him since I didn't have any strength in my arms to do so. But I did put my arm up to him and touched him. We got a few moments with him before they took the baby to the nursery. Alan went with the baby while I was getting finished in the c-section.
After having the staples all done, they wheeled me back to my room. As I entered the hall I remember seeing mine and Alan's families lining the hallway. Nearly everyone had come. I clearly remember my brother Zac and his wife CJ, but the images of the others all blurred together after that. However, only a few people were missing out of both of our Utah families. I got back to my room and Alan had been in the nursery with the baby. I don't recall now if I nursed the baby before our family came in or not.....I think I did. I nursed him for a few minutes and then laid him on my chest. Our family all came in to hear what we had named our son. As soon as everyone was in the room Alan let me say the name. Caleb Alan Hubbs. My little man laid on my chest as family got to admire him for a few moments. Slowly family began to leave (It was probably close to 9:00 at this point). I was exhausted and didn't feel well. Because of the preeclampsia I had to be in an IV drip of something (can't remember what now) to prevent seizures. This drip made me sick. I mean sick. I know that part of our family saw me throw up as they were coming in to the room. And I remember throwing up 2 more times that night too. I was super grateful for that mean doctor who didn't let me eat all day now :) After family had gone I was still feeling pretty sick and the IV drip made me feel in a haze and I couldn't focus well. I remember the nurse asking if we wanted Caleb with us or in the nursery to get some rest, and we opted for them to take him to the nursery.
At some point in the next few hours Alan and I were informed that they had taken Caleb in to the level 2 nursery, or NICU. His blood sugar was far too low and he needed to be monitored. This meant no baby in our room at all.When they first told us this I was ok. Slightly emotional, but figured just taking precautions and all was well. I went in to feed Caleb every 3 hours still and only had to use a wheelchair to get there once-otherwise I was ok to walk. The next day is a blur. Thursday I was feeling horrible because of that IV drip and barely remember anything at all from that day. I recall a few people came to visit-but I felt so terrible it took everything I had to focus on someone when they were there and talking and just wanted to sleep. Most people realized this and didn't stay long. And honestly, I really don't remember much of Thursday until that night when I finally got off the IV drip and started to feel normal again. I remember eating crackers Alan brought me as my first food again. I seriously think I went nearly 2 full days without eating a meal.
Thursday came to an end and my little boy was 24 hours old. He was in the NICU with me and Alan in a room across the hall. Caleb ended up spending 9 days in the NICU before getting to come home-but I will write about those days in the next post :)
