The first 4 weeks at home were filled with smiles, tears, laughs, cries, naps, learning, worries, mistakes, and so very much love.
We came home on a Friday night and spent the weekend together with just the 3 of us. (Lots of visitors of course though!) That Sunday my dad and mom came over and made us dinner, cleaned up, and helped out with Caleb. Having a meal fixed and cleaned up for us was such a blessing! Sunday night my parents headed home and my Aunt Marva came to stay with us for the week to help me out while Alan was back at work. This first week at home and following week were filled with me learning how to do a lot of things. I had to figure out more with breastfeeding and pumping, and learn how to try to make my body only make the milk I needed and not tons more. I breastfed openly if it was only girls in my home, haha! Nursing under a cover when learning the whole thing was just too difficult! (Also, any sense of personal space or privacy goes out the window when you have a baby...you just don't care anymore!) I was healing from my c-section still, but managing to get up and down off the floor and from couches just fine. I was dealing w/the whole bleeding mess that comes with having a baby, and that part is just not fun. We were also dealing with wires attached to Caleb too. Picking him up and carrying him around just wasn't a convenient option due to the monitor, so we pretty much stayed downstairs once we came down in the AM and didn't go up back until bed time.
The first week home we had Caleb's 2 week checkup, and my 2 week appt as well. Luckily Aunt Marva was there to help cause I didn't know how I was going to leave the house for the first time alone with him, a diaper bag, AND the monitor. Turns out it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be-but I was definitely grateful I wasn't figuring it out alone the first time. I fed Caleb whenever he was hungry, but tried to stick to the every 3 hours schedule we were on in the hospital. We did diaper changes and got peed on A LOT! Little man thought he was a fountain at diaper change time...it would just shoot up and out and keep on going! haha! :) We learned that Alan would sleep through Caleb crying at night and mommy would wake up to take care of him :) Because of the monitor and wires I wouldn't take him to the nursery at night because it would require unplugging and moving all of that too. So we just set up a little diaper changing place on the floor in the area outside our room and I would sit in the computer chair to nurse him. At weeks end-it wasn't as hard as I'd thought it would be to adjust to a baby at home!
Week number 2 found me and Caleb home alone. We started to establish a routine, specifically in the mornings. I found myself making a goal to be showered and ready for the day by at least noon. And honestly-those first 2 weeks there were lots of days I was barely making that cutoff time. If Caleb didn't sleep well I'd often allow us both to sleep in a little later in the mornings. I was pumping less often to tell my body to stop making so much milk so I wouldn't feel like half my day was spent just pumping. Me and Caleb would take selfie every morning to send to daddy at work. We dealt with lots of throwing up due to his reflux, and I quickly realized that although I had thought the 30ish burp clothes I had made would be too many-in fact-it's barely enough. I felt like I was doing laundry ALL the time. We spent a lot of time taking naps together with Caleb sleeping on my chest-and those moments right there made every other difficult moment completely worth it. :)
Week 3 we got to have Alan's mom come and stay with us for a week! She came on a Saturday I believe and stayed through the next Sunday. Caleb got to get to know his grandma Hubbs that week and loved his cuddle time with her. Janet came with us to Caleb's circumcision appointment that Monday, and also made it to his follow-up appointment that Friday. She also got to come with all of us to Caleb's newborn pictures we did that week! It was such a help to have her there for even just the little things of helping with the diaper bag, bottle, etc. As new parents we feel like we are kinda playing catch-up or running behind all the time, so that little bit of help made a big difference. The end of this third week we celebrated Mother's Day as well. What a special day for me! Historically I have struggled a great deal with this day, as it always made me so sad to not have a little baby of my own. This year was fantastic. Alan surprised me a day early on Saturday with flowers, chocolates, a "Worlds Greatest Mom" mug, a card from him, and a card from Caleb. The cards brought tears to my eyes and I was so grateful for the husband I have who made me a mommy, and all the love and support he is to me. The weekend also ended with Caleb being able to meet his Grandpa Hubbs, Aunt Susan, and cousins Jeff and Austin who all drove down from Idaho. This week was full of memories for sure!
Week 4 found us finally settling in to our routine and life as a family of 3. We were done with visitors and house guests and could finally figure out how to be just us. And while we LOVED all of our visitors, it was a very welcome break to have a quiet house for a few days. We finished Caleb's newborn pics (another post on this and copies of the pics to come) and tried to find new ways to pass our days since we were still stuck indoors! (Doctor told us not to take him out in public until June!) We tried to make it to Alan's softball game this week (even though it was a week or so early to take him outside), but the weather didn't cooperate, so we stayed in again. We did start to take walks this week though and absolutely loved it! Caleb would pass out as soon as we started to walk and I just loved the fresh air and being outside! Life finally felt normal again and we were finally able to get rid of his apnea monitor this week!
We realized that life before Caleb meant we slept in on weekends, got a full nights sleep, and left the house whenever we wanted to just run and grab something quickly. Life with Caleb now meant little sleep, long days, planning to leave the house that sometimes didn't end up being worth it, and we wouldn't trade ANY of it! Caleb is so incredibly perfect and loved and it's unexplainable the worry, love, and care you can have for your child.
July 16, 2015
Caleb's Birth Story-Part 2
So here we are.....Thursday April 9th has come to an end and Caleb is 24 hours old. I am off the IV drip (which I have since been reminded was the Mag drip) and feeling much better. I've managed to eat small amounts of solid food and am able to walk across the hall now to feed Caleb every 3 hours. Alan is staying at the hospital with me and Caleb and sleeping in the previously mentioned very uncomfortable chair/bed. :)
Caleb ending up spending a total of 9 days in the NICU. Because we are now over a month since his birth I don't remember in enough detail to write down how each day progressed. So.....I'll summarize and try to recap each issue/concern that happened while we were there in its own paragraph.
The original reason he was admitted was low blood sugar. Because of this-every time we fed him they had to poke his heel to draw blood to check his levels. Anything under 45 was too low. I believe the lowest it ever was was in the 20's.....It was alarming low at that point, but he bounced back. Anyway, we were feeding him every 3 hours, so that meant a new heel poke every 3 hours. They did this for the first 7 days of him being in the NICU. So. Many. Heel. Pokes. Poor little guy. His heels were blue and purple with bruises from all the pokes. He cried each time a nurse would touch his foot because he knew what was coming.
After his first few days in the NICU he ended up having to go under the bili lights too for his jaundice. This was a very minor issue/concern and he only ended up staying under those lights for about 24 hours. He LOVED his time under the lights however. It was like he was laying in a tanning bed and on vacation :) He would just sprawl out under the lights and sleep for HOURS! He was so warm and comfy during that time-I'm sure he was sad when it ended....except for the eye covers....I bet he was glad to get rid of those.
The final concern we faced in the NICU was him learning to eat enough on his own without the feeding tube. The feeding tube didn't get put in during his first few days in the NICU, but I don't recall now what changed or happened to make them put it in. In either case-he got a tiny orange tube put in his nose and taped to his cheek. He absolutely hated the tape and tube on his cheek and pulled it off several times. When he first got the tube they told me they would give him formula after I fed him until he met the required feeding amount. I was SO disappointed at hearing the word 'formula'. I wanted him 100% breast fed. Luckily for me-my milk fully came in that night and Caleb never had to have formula through his nose tube-they were able to give him 100% my milk :) Hooray for small victories!
So, our routine each day Thursday through Sunday went like this: At feeding time-Alan and I would walk across the hall to the nursery. We had to get buzzed in. We'd walk back and let the nurse know we were there, and then we could start the process. We would have to wake him up to eat. To do this we'd unwrap him from his blanket and change his diaper. The nurse would come in and check his temp and blood sugar. By this time he'd be awake, sometimes crying, and ready to eat. I would sit in one of their green rocking chairs and Alan the other. We'd roll his IV stand closer to us so he could reach ok and I'd begin to feed him. Because of how tiny he was, and me having larger breasts, the football hold worked best for us initially for feeding. I'd get a pillow set up on my side and off he'd go. The nurses were all amazed at how he just knew how to latch on and eat from the very beginning with as early as he was. We never really struggled with this, and for that I am grateful. Alan would sit with us and just be supportive during this time. When I was done feeding him either me or Alan would burp him. Then we'd take turns just sitting in there and holding him after eating/burping before we left. We were usually in there with him for about 90 minutes. So that would give us another 90 minutes to ourselves before we would go back and repeat the process. Once we would leave Caleb we'd go back to our room so I could pump, we could eat, sleep, whatever. Alan was incredibly supportive this first few days at the hospital and I don't know what I would have done without him! He kept me with a full cup of ice water and made sure I was drinking it. Made sure I was eating, had food when hungry, brought me clean clothes, make-up, etc. He made me lay down and sleep and just sat with me to make sure I was ok. Such an amazing husband :) Then on Sunday night Alan went home to sleep as he had to go back to work on Monday. Technically I was released from the hospital Sunday night as well-but because Caleb was staying in the NICU I stayed at the hospital doing what they called boarding. We paid $50 a day for a room and the meals to keep coming. That way I could stay and be there to feed Caleb and not have to worry about driving back and forth, etc. So I went home with Alan briefly on Sunday night so I could shower and all, but then went back that night-not missing a feeding.
Our routine starting on Monday was nearly the same-but I got more control over Caleb in a sense. At each feeding I could come in and start things on my own. I took his temp and just told the nurse what it was. I changed his diaper, could pick him up out of his bed on my own, etc. Monday also gave me a nice surprise and I was able to give Caleb his first bath! Our sweet nurse helped me learn how to do it and another nurse took pics. Caleb loved his bath so much! He relaxed in the warm water and each time we poured water on his head or neck/shoulders he would just relax in to it and get a smile. It was so adorable! He loved his head being scrubbed too and it was so cute.
We kept up this daily routine of diaper changing, heel pokes, taking temps and nursing throughout the week. We also added in weighing him before I would nurse him, and then again after to see how much he'd gotten. It took a few days of having to supplement with the nose tube, but eventually he started eating enough from me all on his own! We had our ups and downs with feeding time as it would break my heart each time he didn't get enough, because I knew he'd have to stay in the hospital that much longer. I cried on many occasions to my sweet husband because I didn't think I could handle any more. It also broke Alan's heart to see our little guy in the NICU getting poked, prodded, with tubes and wires attached....but he was always there to comfort me despite how it made him sad too.
We arrive at Thursday...the 8th day of life and the 8th day in the NICU for Caleb. He was finally eating enough on his own he could take out his nose tube! And because of this-he also got to come stay with me in my room for the first time since being born! I was excited, and oh so very scared. :) I was going to have him alone overnight for the first time. And Alan wouldn't be there because of him needing to sleep and work. What if I didn't hear him cry when he needed me? What if he was too cold and I didn't realize it? What if I couldn't do it on my own? I was so nervous and scared. Alan came and stayed for much of the evening with us, and then reassured me that I would be just fine with him over night. He left, and it was just me and Caleb. I had to take him in to the nursery still every time he was ready to eat to weigh him and take his temp and all....but then back to my room we'd go to eat.
We survived our first night alone together, but not without tears, frustration, and little sleep. I think because Caleb was somewhere new, and sleeping in a new bed, he was just a little unsettled and unsure. He didn't sleep well, fussed quite a bit, and did much better being held in my arms. This mommy didn't get much sleep that night which unfortunately made for a little bit of a rougher day the next day. But, we did survive. :)
Friday morning came and we were (not so patiently) waiting to hear if we could finally take Caleb home. He was eating enough now, blood sugar was good, and he passed his carseat test this day too (because of him being before 37 weeks he had to sit in his car seat for 2 hours straight to make sure his oxygen stayed good). 11:00 came and the doctor and nurse came in to say we could take him home that day! HOORAY! My excitement was so great, but quickly settled down when they added "....but with an apnea monitor". My little guy was going to have to be attached to wires still. A monitor. We couldn't just take him home and be as I'd always pictured in my head. At this point, due to the past 9 days, lack of sleep, back and forth to NICU, I just couldn't take any more. Alan left work early and came to help us get ready to leave the hospital. But of course we had to work out getting the monitor with our insurance first. Such a pain! I sat in bed and cried while Alan worked on the monitor and insurance part. He started around 11:30. It was 5:00 before we even found out who the monitor was coming from. And the NICU doctor had wanted us to stay in the hospital with the monitor for at least 6 hours so we felt comfortable with it. They wouldn't discharge us that late. I thought for sure we'd be there another night at this point, and I just cried more. I absolutely could not take any more. I wanted to be home with my family. Thankfully the doctor said we could go home just after being shown how to use the monitor instead of having to stay. We did a mad rush of watching the CPR video we were required to, and getting 2 weeks worth of hospital stay supplies packed up and ready to go home. The apnea monitor arrived somewhere around 5:30-6:00. We got the info on how to set it up, monitor, etc. We dressed our little guy so fast to go home at this point-we just couldn't be in the hospital any longer! In fact-all my planning before he was born of getting cute pics in his first outfit and leaving the hospital fell flat because of how exhausted I was and just ready to get the hell out of there!
We were all packed up and heading out the door! Finally! Around 6:30 that night we started our way out. We stopped to say goodbye and get a few hugs from some of the amazing nurses who had helped to care for us during our stay. We got Caleb in the car and a nurse came out to check to make sure the carseat base was secured in tight enough. We left my car at the hospital (not wanting to take 2 cars home at this point) and off we went. WE HAD MADE IT!!!!!!!!! We were finally home as a family. We had wires and an apnea monitor in tow, but at least we were home. There is nothing better in the world than having your little family close together, in your own home, and experiencing that for the first time. :)
Alan and I are so in love with our little man, and now we could finally feel like we were starting our lives together as a new little family. What a happy day :)
Caleb ending up spending a total of 9 days in the NICU. Because we are now over a month since his birth I don't remember in enough detail to write down how each day progressed. So.....I'll summarize and try to recap each issue/concern that happened while we were there in its own paragraph.
The original reason he was admitted was low blood sugar. Because of this-every time we fed him they had to poke his heel to draw blood to check his levels. Anything under 45 was too low. I believe the lowest it ever was was in the 20's.....It was alarming low at that point, but he bounced back. Anyway, we were feeding him every 3 hours, so that meant a new heel poke every 3 hours. They did this for the first 7 days of him being in the NICU. So. Many. Heel. Pokes. Poor little guy. His heels were blue and purple with bruises from all the pokes. He cried each time a nurse would touch his foot because he knew what was coming.
After his first few days in the NICU he ended up having to go under the bili lights too for his jaundice. This was a very minor issue/concern and he only ended up staying under those lights for about 24 hours. He LOVED his time under the lights however. It was like he was laying in a tanning bed and on vacation :) He would just sprawl out under the lights and sleep for HOURS! He was so warm and comfy during that time-I'm sure he was sad when it ended....except for the eye covers....I bet he was glad to get rid of those.
The final concern we faced in the NICU was him learning to eat enough on his own without the feeding tube. The feeding tube didn't get put in during his first few days in the NICU, but I don't recall now what changed or happened to make them put it in. In either case-he got a tiny orange tube put in his nose and taped to his cheek. He absolutely hated the tape and tube on his cheek and pulled it off several times. When he first got the tube they told me they would give him formula after I fed him until he met the required feeding amount. I was SO disappointed at hearing the word 'formula'. I wanted him 100% breast fed. Luckily for me-my milk fully came in that night and Caleb never had to have formula through his nose tube-they were able to give him 100% my milk :) Hooray for small victories!
So, our routine each day Thursday through Sunday went like this: At feeding time-Alan and I would walk across the hall to the nursery. We had to get buzzed in. We'd walk back and let the nurse know we were there, and then we could start the process. We would have to wake him up to eat. To do this we'd unwrap him from his blanket and change his diaper. The nurse would come in and check his temp and blood sugar. By this time he'd be awake, sometimes crying, and ready to eat. I would sit in one of their green rocking chairs and Alan the other. We'd roll his IV stand closer to us so he could reach ok and I'd begin to feed him. Because of how tiny he was, and me having larger breasts, the football hold worked best for us initially for feeding. I'd get a pillow set up on my side and off he'd go. The nurses were all amazed at how he just knew how to latch on and eat from the very beginning with as early as he was. We never really struggled with this, and for that I am grateful. Alan would sit with us and just be supportive during this time. When I was done feeding him either me or Alan would burp him. Then we'd take turns just sitting in there and holding him after eating/burping before we left. We were usually in there with him for about 90 minutes. So that would give us another 90 minutes to ourselves before we would go back and repeat the process. Once we would leave Caleb we'd go back to our room so I could pump, we could eat, sleep, whatever. Alan was incredibly supportive this first few days at the hospital and I don't know what I would have done without him! He kept me with a full cup of ice water and made sure I was drinking it. Made sure I was eating, had food when hungry, brought me clean clothes, make-up, etc. He made me lay down and sleep and just sat with me to make sure I was ok. Such an amazing husband :) Then on Sunday night Alan went home to sleep as he had to go back to work on Monday. Technically I was released from the hospital Sunday night as well-but because Caleb was staying in the NICU I stayed at the hospital doing what they called boarding. We paid $50 a day for a room and the meals to keep coming. That way I could stay and be there to feed Caleb and not have to worry about driving back and forth, etc. So I went home with Alan briefly on Sunday night so I could shower and all, but then went back that night-not missing a feeding.
Our routine starting on Monday was nearly the same-but I got more control over Caleb in a sense. At each feeding I could come in and start things on my own. I took his temp and just told the nurse what it was. I changed his diaper, could pick him up out of his bed on my own, etc. Monday also gave me a nice surprise and I was able to give Caleb his first bath! Our sweet nurse helped me learn how to do it and another nurse took pics. Caleb loved his bath so much! He relaxed in the warm water and each time we poured water on his head or neck/shoulders he would just relax in to it and get a smile. It was so adorable! He loved his head being scrubbed too and it was so cute.
We kept up this daily routine of diaper changing, heel pokes, taking temps and nursing throughout the week. We also added in weighing him before I would nurse him, and then again after to see how much he'd gotten. It took a few days of having to supplement with the nose tube, but eventually he started eating enough from me all on his own! We had our ups and downs with feeding time as it would break my heart each time he didn't get enough, because I knew he'd have to stay in the hospital that much longer. I cried on many occasions to my sweet husband because I didn't think I could handle any more. It also broke Alan's heart to see our little guy in the NICU getting poked, prodded, with tubes and wires attached....but he was always there to comfort me despite how it made him sad too.
We arrive at Thursday...the 8th day of life and the 8th day in the NICU for Caleb. He was finally eating enough on his own he could take out his nose tube! And because of this-he also got to come stay with me in my room for the first time since being born! I was excited, and oh so very scared. :) I was going to have him alone overnight for the first time. And Alan wouldn't be there because of him needing to sleep and work. What if I didn't hear him cry when he needed me? What if he was too cold and I didn't realize it? What if I couldn't do it on my own? I was so nervous and scared. Alan came and stayed for much of the evening with us, and then reassured me that I would be just fine with him over night. He left, and it was just me and Caleb. I had to take him in to the nursery still every time he was ready to eat to weigh him and take his temp and all....but then back to my room we'd go to eat.
We survived our first night alone together, but not without tears, frustration, and little sleep. I think because Caleb was somewhere new, and sleeping in a new bed, he was just a little unsettled and unsure. He didn't sleep well, fussed quite a bit, and did much better being held in my arms. This mommy didn't get much sleep that night which unfortunately made for a little bit of a rougher day the next day. But, we did survive. :)
Friday morning came and we were (not so patiently) waiting to hear if we could finally take Caleb home. He was eating enough now, blood sugar was good, and he passed his carseat test this day too (because of him being before 37 weeks he had to sit in his car seat for 2 hours straight to make sure his oxygen stayed good). 11:00 came and the doctor and nurse came in to say we could take him home that day! HOORAY! My excitement was so great, but quickly settled down when they added "....but with an apnea monitor". My little guy was going to have to be attached to wires still. A monitor. We couldn't just take him home and be as I'd always pictured in my head. At this point, due to the past 9 days, lack of sleep, back and forth to NICU, I just couldn't take any more. Alan left work early and came to help us get ready to leave the hospital. But of course we had to work out getting the monitor with our insurance first. Such a pain! I sat in bed and cried while Alan worked on the monitor and insurance part. He started around 11:30. It was 5:00 before we even found out who the monitor was coming from. And the NICU doctor had wanted us to stay in the hospital with the monitor for at least 6 hours so we felt comfortable with it. They wouldn't discharge us that late. I thought for sure we'd be there another night at this point, and I just cried more. I absolutely could not take any more. I wanted to be home with my family. Thankfully the doctor said we could go home just after being shown how to use the monitor instead of having to stay. We did a mad rush of watching the CPR video we were required to, and getting 2 weeks worth of hospital stay supplies packed up and ready to go home. The apnea monitor arrived somewhere around 5:30-6:00. We got the info on how to set it up, monitor, etc. We dressed our little guy so fast to go home at this point-we just couldn't be in the hospital any longer! In fact-all my planning before he was born of getting cute pics in his first outfit and leaving the hospital fell flat because of how exhausted I was and just ready to get the hell out of there!
We were all packed up and heading out the door! Finally! Around 6:30 that night we started our way out. We stopped to say goodbye and get a few hugs from some of the amazing nurses who had helped to care for us during our stay. We got Caleb in the car and a nurse came out to check to make sure the carseat base was secured in tight enough. We left my car at the hospital (not wanting to take 2 cars home at this point) and off we went. WE HAD MADE IT!!!!!!!!! We were finally home as a family. We had wires and an apnea monitor in tow, but at least we were home. There is nothing better in the world than having your little family close together, in your own home, and experiencing that for the first time. :)
Alan and I are so in love with our little man, and now we could finally feel like we were starting our lives together as a new little family. What a happy day :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)